Instead of a random result, the "useful" aspect comes from a mock-serious algorithm that analyzes the user's "risk factors" and "personality traits" to give a hyper-specific, comedic result.
We’ve all had a wedgie. The classic pinch-and-tug. The dreaded "car wash" effect from a slippery leather booth. But those are accidents. Acts of God. I’m talking about the karmic wedgie. The one the universe has been patiently holding in its back pocket, waiting for the right moment to snap the elastic. what wedgie do you really deserve